Your Kid's One-Page Plan
Fill it in once. Hand it to whoever has your child next.
A substitute teacher, a new DSP, a respite worker, a grandparent taking the weekend. Nobody gets your kid on day one, and the cost of them guessing is a bad day your child pays for. Type into the blanks below, print it, and give it away. Rewrite it every six months, because it will stop being true.
How to use this: you can type directly into the blank lines on this page, then print. Nothing is saved or sent anywhere. It lives only in your browser until you print it, so print before you close the tab.
Skip any section that doesn't apply. A half-filled page still beats no page.
1. Here's my kid
Enough for a stranger to calibrate. Diagnoses are optional. How they actually operate matters more.
The fastest route to a good first hour.
Best time of day / hardest time of day Sensory: what they seek, what they can't tolerateNoise, textures, clothing, food smells, lights, being touched, being crowded.
2. What "doing okay" looks like
Not happy. Not quiet. Just able to take a bump without tipping over. This is the baseline everything else gets measured against.
- tone of voice, body, what they do with their hands, how they answer you, whether they're near people
This is the window for asking things. Also the window for just enjoying them.
3. What "starting to go" looks like
The early signs. Catching it here is the whole game. It's the difference between a rough ten minutes and a lost afternoon.
- volume changes, silliness ramping up, repeating a phrase, going still, arguing about something small, leaving the room
Usually: more words, more questions, standing closer, naming what you're seeing out loud.
4. What "gone" looks like, and what to do
Past this point they can't access their skills, can't take in instructions, and won't remember much of it. Nothing gets taught here. The only goal is getting to the other side safely.
- how much space, how many words, stay or leave, sit or stand, lights, sound, who should be in the room
Be specific and unembarrassed. Someone needs to know before it happens, not during.
Afterward: how long the recovery takes, and what they needMost kids need food, water, quiet, and no debrief. The conversation about it, if there's one at all, comes much later.
5. How to talk to them
For a kid whose nervous system reads instructions as being controlled, phrasing isn't politeness. It changes whether the thing happens.
- e.g. "The car leaves in ten minutes." / "There's food on the counter." / "I wonder where that shoe went."
- e.g. "Can you please…" / "You need to…" / "Good job!" / "Why did you do that?"
6. If something has to get dropped
It will. Backing off a demand in a bad moment isn't rewarding bad behavior. It's recognizing the moment is already lost and protecting the relationship you'll need tomorrow. Write down what you're comfortable having dropped, so the adult with your kid isn't guessing.
Usually only safety and medication. The shorter this list, the more of it actually happens.
7. Things that reliably help
The specific stuff. Objects, foods, places, routines, videos, the one blanket.
8. Things that don't work, so please don't try them
Save someone a bad afternoon. Include the well-meaning ones people reach for on instinct.
9. If you remember nothing else
You will not be bothering me. I would much rather get a text than hear about it afterward.
Two notes for whoever receives this page.
Inconsistency is expected. Attention, impulse control, planning, and holding your emotions together all run off one tank, and this child's tank is smaller than other kids' the same age. Something they managed easily on Tuesday can be impossible on Thursday. Thursday isn't them being difficult, and it isn't proof that Tuesday was fake.
Connection comes before everything else. Time spent with this kid where nothing is being asked of them is not a break from the work. It's the part that makes the rest possible. It won't show up in their behavior for a while. Do it anyway.