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This Counts as Progress

A progress tracker calibrated for PDA, not for the neighbor's kid

If you measure your child against neurotypical milestones, you will miss every win they actually have. PDA progress looks like recovering faster, asking sideways for help, and coming back after conflict. Print this. Check things off with a date. On the worst weeks, this page is the evidence that things are moving.

Regulation

  • Asked for a break (in any form—words, card, walking away) before explodingdate: ______
  • Recovered from a meltdown faster than they used todate: ______
  • Used a tool (headphones, chewy, quiet corner) without being told todate: ______
  • Named what their body needed: hunger, tired, too loud, too muchdate: ______
  • Left a situation that was too much instead of blowing up inside itdate: ______

Communication

  • Said "I can't right now" instead of just "no" or silencedate: ______
  • Suggested an alternative ("after this level" / "you do the first part")date: ______
  • Told you about something hard hours or days after it happeneddate: ______
  • Accepted help—even partially, even grumpilydate: ______
  • Asked a question about someone else's feelings or daydate: ______

Flexibility

  • Tolerated one more transition than usual without tipping overdate: ______
  • Handled a changed plan with grumbling instead of a meltdowndate: ______
  • Did an essential task a nonstandard way (teeth in the bath, dinner on the floor)—the task happeneddate: ______
  • Tried something new, or watched someone else try it, without leavingdate: ______
  • Let go of controlling one small thing they usually controldate: ______

Connection & repair

  • Came back to you after a conflict—a lean, a joke, a shared video countsdate: ______
  • Showed care for a sibling or pet, unprompteddate: ______
  • Let you into their interest—showed you the game, the drawing, the factdate: ______
  • Was okay when you took your own break—and okay when you came backdate: ______
  • Said, in their own way, that home feels safedate: ______

Your child's own wins

The list above is generic. Your kid's progress is specific. What happened lately that only you would recognize as huge?

How to read this page

Progress isn't linear. A skill appears, vanishes for a month, comes back. Capacity swings with sleep, season, school load, and things you'll never identify. A checked box that "un-checks" itself next week still counts—it happened, which means it can happen.

Regression during high stress isn't lost progress. It's a nervous system triaging. The skills come back when capacity does.

Compare your child to your child. Six months ago, not the classmate. That's the only comparison with information in it.

Bonus use: bring this checklist to IEP meetings and provider appointments. It gives teams language for goals that fit how your child actually develops—"asks for a break before escalating" is a better IEP goal than "complies with adult directions."

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